Happy birthday my old man

Change

"The significance of the moth is change. Caterpillar into chrysalis or pupa. From thence into beauty..."

- Dr. Haniball Lecter

Associations

Home to me is not a house

Filled with family faces; 

Home is where I slide in free

By rounding all the bases. 

A tie to me is not

Clothing like a hat;

It means the game is even up

And I wish I were at bat.

Words by Eve Merriam, painting by Leroy Neiman.

The first day

Today was the first day that I took my daughter to the daycare and left her there. Leaving the major piece of your heart and the consequent sadness on her side is without the doubt the hardest part. It is a major milestone in her life now that she starts her social life ON HER OWN and starts to interact with other people. At the same time, she starts to learn a new language (among others) - another step in her evolution.

Man how time flies!

If only I could freeze the time to this moment...

She is growing up by minutes and I am getting older...and that is kind of sad but unfortunately, (and I hate to sound so typical) that's life.

5 years again!

Five years past the day that I finished at CTH -that day!- and yet I find myself at CTH again by pure coincidence. Good thing that little by little, not only I don't have some of those nostalgic feelings but also I feel quite happy to have moved on or rather moved 'out'.

One should always look forward, looking back, however useful every once in a while, only reduces the pace but it is not constructive.

Such a strange feeling

Almost ten years ago, I was living in an otherwise empty student room with one window facing the hotel that I am staying in now. Since I did not have a computer at home, I used to come all the way to this hotel to use the Yahoo! messenger on the PC in the lobby of the hotel to chat with one special one for hours past midnight.

Ahh...those days...those early days that surprisingly do not seem so far away now...if I only knew what I know now...

Chichén Itzá

Forgedaboudit

1. According to Donnie Brasco (played by Johnny Depp): "Foreget about it" is like, if you agree with some one, you know, like "Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it." But then, if you disagree, like "A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it!" you know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like minga those peppers, "forget about it." But it's also like saying "Go to hell!" too. Like you know, "Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker!" and Pauile says "Forget about it!" And then, sometimes it just means forget about it.

2. New York term for "No comment" or "I would rather not say"

Vinnie: So Tony, how much money you made at the race track yesterday?

Tony: Forget about it!

3. A response to another person's statement indicating disbelief.

Joe: Tony Montana took 23 gunshots to the body before they took him.

Mickey: Forget about it!

Source: urbandictionary.com

To KG, when he was a little boy

Like Jesus said

"My God
 My God

Why have you forsaken me?"

- Matthew 27:46

Solitary confinement?

"Is that you John Wayne?

 Is this me?"

I am on the verge hitting the pinnacle of my isolation from the world. This 'leave' as much as being vital and necessary to some regards, it does take its toll on you when it comes to human contact and socializing. Being in a new city in another country does not necessary loosen things up but I guess things would have been more or less the same had we stayed home.

What can I do?

What should I do?

Will I miss it later?

I don't know but the loneliness and the silence is getting hard to bear, I guess 'det är bara bita ihop' and move on...somehow...

Best of you

I've got another confession to make

I'm your fool

Everyone's got their chains to break

Holding you

Were you born to resist or be abused?

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?

I needed somewhere to hang my head

Without your noose

You gave me something that I didn't have

But had no use

I was too weak to give in

Too strong to lose

My heart is under arrest again

But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death

But I can't choose

I swear I never give in

I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Has someone taken your faith?

It's real, the pain you feel

You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...
Has someone taken your faith?

It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal

The hope that starts the broken hearts

You trust, you must

Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend

I'm no fool

I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?

I swear I'll never give in

I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?

It's real, the pain you feel

You trust, you must

Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Oh...

Song by Foo Fighters from the album "In Your Honor".

Back in MTL, QC, CA

Yeah, finally made to Montreal again for the third time in one piece but what a trip it was. It took almost 24 hours from bed to bed, and things are not particularly easy when you are travelling with a one year old child. The poor kid who normally sleeps 15 hours a day, could only sleep for 2 hours in 24 hours during the long journey, once we managed to put her into sleep on the floor of the plane during the 7 hour flight and only after one hour we had to lift her up due to a stupid and extremely short turbulance!

Anyway, I am very glad that it's all over. This is going to be the longest period that I will be staying outside Sweden and filling my time effectively, now that I am the kid, is going to be real challenge. A confession: After staying home with baby on the parental leave I have realized that it is NOT exactly a walk in the park rather it could (and it is) at times dull and boring. I used to be quite jealous of the people who were on parental leave before but I guess I wouldn't be anymore.

I have many ambitions in mind for this month, a important one being taking care of resolution 13 but I am very much afraid that I will not be able to do as much as I want to due to lack of consistency, energy and laziness in general, may the force be with me!

So far, apart from jetlag and all the small adjustments, I have been quite apathetic to the new enviroment, maybe it is the foot injury that has been nagging me in the past week or maybe it is the lack of having a personal attachment to here which results in that but hey, I came here just for a change of scenery and it is a change alright so let's keep it that way. In addition:

1. Food and the variety of edibles are really good
2. The "moka problem" has been resolved with a great solution

So if I just put myself in the groove for 'the resolution' and my foot gets better, I've got nothing to complain ;-)

AMS

I love Amsterdam.

There is a sense of laid-back, liberty and above all, I-don't-give-a-#€%k about it that makes it very appealing. This is topped by its unique diversity, a perfect place for a reunion for a bunch of guys longing for good old times and missing their social interaction...just as we did last week and needless to say, it turned into a blast. 

"Now there is grey inside and outside..."

- Mr. P

2 more practices and the season is over

Another season is about to end and I am yet to play a full game. This year I was ready to have a push for my summit and to some sense, I was feeling that I was in mental and physical shape to do so and I thought with the help of the new coach would was not to play this year and me not going to work due to parental leave, I would be able to fix 'the issues' but I ended up playing the least ever due to the fact that the idiot that is running our team (who is actually a guy that I like in certain aspects) and one important individual in the back office had little faith in me. The real reason behind this is unclear for me as I busted my ass off at practice sessions but I suppose my biggest shortcomig was just when it was the right time to convince them otherwise, I lacked consistency and I failed. I got very pissed when I was denied a shot at the game and I tried to talk things over at an early stage to avoid a disaster from unfolding but at the end, that totally backfired. Like I said, despite feeling that my throwing and my fielding had improved, at least compared to last year, the mental burden and frustration went beyond my capacity and obviously, it had an adverse effect on my game and what not. It was a tough season for me personally and I was driven to quiting the whole damn thing on several points (and a number of my apparel failed or started to fail as well!) and the ironic thing is that I did enjoyed several productive and tiring practice sessions and I literally played nothing this year. I have never missed 'my very own fantasy baseball team' so bad that I did this year...or at least my closest buddies who I could have a word or two over a drink or something, man I am so far and I miss my people!

On a seperate and sort of relevant note, I had the chance of playing at the national arena tomorrow in a stress-free and the-result-doesn't-matter game since our home game was cancelled last Saturday due to rain. I think I would have enjoyed taking on that field but unfortunately I can not since I have to stay home with the kid...deepest sigh! And then I will miss a doubleheader some 600 Km away since I will be away to on a reunion, not that it matters.

New 2

Resolution 12. Readings and learning of Hagakure should be carried out on daily basis.

Resolution 13. Learn the thing that you have always wanted to learn, and don't be lazy about it!

A decade!

Today marks the tenth year of me leaving "home" for a new home, not that there's anything significant about it. Man, what a ride has it been even though the pace has been remarkably lower in the past couple of years. I suppose it is fair to say that the highlight of the last 'decade' (I like use this word to make it look more grand) top 5 noteworthy happenings, without particular order, can be defined as:

1. First child

2. Marriage

3. Graduation

4. Travels

5. Aging or rather noticing the aging!

Better not to get entangled with nostalgic feelings and in the past, andiamo avanti all the way.

Closing:

"To be yourself is all that you can be..."

- Chris Cornell 

Happy 1st birthday!

Cet indéfinissable charme

Cette petite flamme...

Metallica in Ullevi on May 30, 2004

Playlist XI.

1. "The Ecstasy of Gold" by Ennio Morricone

2. "Blackened" 

3. "Fuel"

4. "Harvester of Sorrow" 

5. "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)" 

6. "Frantic"

7. "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

8. "I Disappear" 

9. "St. Anger" 

10. "Sad But True" 

11. "Creeping Death"

12. "Battery"

13. "Wherever I May Roam" 

14. "Nothing Else Matters" 

15. "Master of Puppets" 

16. "One" 

17. "Enter Sandman" 

18. "Leper Messiah" 

19. "Seek & Destroy"

Forty six and two

My shadow's

Shedding skin and

I've been picking scabs again

I'm down

Digging through 

My old muscles

Looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly

Clearing out what could've been

I've been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions

For a piece to cross me over

Or a word to guide me in

I wanna feel the changes coming down

I wanna know what I've been hiding in

My shadow

My shadow

Change is coming through my shadow

My shadow's 

Shedding skin

I've been picking scabs again

I've been crawling on my belly 

Clearing out what could've been

I've wallowing in my own chaotic and insecure delusions

I wanna feel the change consume me

Feel the outside turning in

I wanna feel the metamorphosis and 

Cleansing I've endured within

My shadow

My shadow

Change is coming

Now it's my time

Listen to my muscle memory

Contemplate what I've been clinging to

Forty-six and two ahead of me

I choose to live and to

Grow, take and give and to

Move, learn and love and to

Cry, kill and die and to

Be paranoid and to

Lie, hate and fear and to

Do what it takes to move through

I choose to live and to

Lie, kill and give and to

Die, learn and love and to

Do what it takes to step through

See my shadow changing

Stretching up and over me

Soften this old armor

Hoping it can clear the way by

Stepping through my shadow

Coming out the other side

Step into the shadow

Forty-six and two are just ahead of me

A Serbian Film

This is by far the sickest and most disturbing movie that I have even seen, "Irréversible" is absolutely nothing compared to this. Tim Anderson says, and I can not agree more, "If what I have written here is enough to turn your feelings of wonder into a burning desire to watch this monstrosity, then perhaps I haven't been clear enough. You don't want to see Serbian Film. You just think you do."

I am just wondering what purpose does it serve to make such a twisted and disgusting movie, I guess human being never stop amazing one other. 

My god....so sick!

Lesson never learnd

What recently unfolded in Norway reminds us, yet again, that any kind fundamentalism or extremism is doomed to result in catasrophe in which the lives of innocent people is most often lost. And it really doesn't matter what ideology, culture, up-bringing, geographical location or religion you have, the outcome is pure disaster. Unfortunately, this was not the first of its kind and I amvery much afraid that it won't be the last.

What the...?

Perfect weather, not too warm, not too cold, with a tiny dash of cool breeze, slightly cloudy to cover the strength of sun rays, perfectly cut grass and well done clay for the infield, an up-raised pitching machine, lots of new balls, cage, electricity, bats...the stage is set for a good sweating and everything you could possibly need for a wonderful practice or intersquad game is available. How many present? 4! Only 4 people showed up for the practice yesterday and that includes the coach. What the hell?!?! We ended up with 120 swings each and that's about it. I suppose people were on 'vacation'....my god!...so much for the attitude of team with winning ambitions.

Unbelievable!

By 2107 tonight, it has gone exactly one year since my sunshine was born.

Oh man!

I just can't believe how fast it has gone; probably the fastest year of my life! Once again, I am speechless, I wish I could only freeze the time, right here, right now.

Oh my!

It is amazing that how a series of tiny, unrelated, careless and stupid events can ruin an entire entity.

It's just bloody amazing!

Fortune, fame, mirror vain

No one writes to me.

No one reads this.

"No one writes to the Colonel."

And yet, the Colonel checks his mail every day, sometimes twice a day...

Cold water

Memory: After a hard fought basketball game, I used to head to the shower room at the back of the locker room and seldom took a shower there. Instead, I opened the tap and let the water ran till it got cold (this was a pleasant waiting) and I drank endlessly from it "the way that camels close in on water!" I then washed my face, arms up to elbow, armpits and back of my neck, the drops of cold water ran down my body...an amazing uncomfortable feeling. Slowly I dried myself and without saying much words, I let myself sink very smoothly into a state of mental stand-by and never said much while others were usually making a lot of noise by talking trash or pure nonsense with the never-ending voice of gym caretaker in the background bugging us to leave the locker room ASAP since it was either too late and he wanted to catch his ride home or it was ladies' practice.

After heading out from the gym, we crammed in a few cars there were available and went some place to grab a bite and chill out; to sip slowly a large cold drink which tasted as sweet as victory.

From The Hurt Locker

Colonel Reed: You the guy in the flaming car, Sergeant James?

Staff Sergeant William James: Afternoon, sir. Uh, yes, sir.

Colonel Reed: Well, that's just hot shit. You're a wild man, you know that?

Staff Sergeant William James: Uh, yes, sir.

Colonel Reed: He's a wild man. You know that? I want to shake your hand.

Staff Sergeant William James: Thank you, sir.

Colonel Reed: Yeah, how many bombs have you disarmed?

Staff Sergeant William James: Uh, I'm not quite sure.

Colonel Reed: Sergeant?

Staff Sergeant William James: Yes, sir.

Colonel Reed: I asked you a question.

Staff Sergeant William James: Eight hundred seventy-three, sir.

Colonel Reed: Eight hundred! And seventy-three. Eight hundred! And seventy-three. That's just hot shit. Eight hundred and seventy-three.

Staff Sergeant William James: Counting today, sir, yes.

Colonel Reed: That's gotta be record. What's the best way to...go about disarming one of these things?

Staff Sergeant William James: The way you don't die, sir.

Colonel Reed: That's a good one. That's spoken like a wild man. That's good.


Source: imdb.com

The Big 4

I was at the Big 4 concert 2 days ago, a very impressive line up that included Anthrax, Megadeth, Slayer and Metallica. We entered the Ullevi arena at around 1730 and when we left, it was 0015 or something. Obviously, Metallica was the last act and they played for a good 2 hours non-stop. Others played for one hour and there was a roughly 30 minutes break between each of them. One day before the concert, I realized that the Swedish national TV i.e. SVT was going to show the whole concert live, one of the few things that can only happen in Sweden. I remember that they did the same for Iron Maiden concert back in 2005. I am sure I would have gone to the concert had I known this before, but I'm sure glad that I did specially now that I think back and remember that I missed the Sonicsphere festival last year in Istanbul despite buying the 3-day pass and flight tickets. Anyway, here's my take on the show:

Anthrax:

I myself have never been much into them, so I didn't care for their performance much. The sound quality was not good neither and the only guy that I knew from the band i.e. Scott "NOT" Ian was not there. Andreas Kisser of Sepultura was with them instead and the highlight of their performance was when they played "Refuse/Resist"shortly. I just noticed one of their songs which is called "Antisocial".

Megadeth:

They were a major disappointment despite having a quite good track list which included the likes of "Holy Wars", "Hangar 18", "Peace sells", "Symphony of Destruction", "Trust" (the opening song) and "In my darkest hour". The sound quality was bad and I could barely hear Mustaine's voice. Although Ellefson was also there, they looked not so excited throughout their performance and conveyed little energy to the people.

Slayer:

Same ol usual stuff with a not so good track list. Of all the famous hits (or my favorites) they played only "War Ensemble", "South of Heaven" and "Raining Blood". Kerry King claimed that he had many technical problems in the beginning of the show and I noticed that Dave Lombardo was kind of arguing with behind the stage staff at one or two occasions while playing drums. Tom Araya looked very strange as he was at times smiling with no reason and his few attempts to engage with people were lame and unsuccessful. Jeff Hannemann was not present due to a spider bite (I discovered later) and they had brought a guy from Exodus which was OK. The other tracks were unknown for me but they rocked pretty hard in total.

Metallica:

Despite being commercial and very mainstream, they were by far the best of the night. At one point, I was thinking to myself that even if they had started in 1981, it has been 30 freaking years that they are doing this and that itself is something. James, Lars, Kirk and even Rob played hard and rocked the whole town with great energy. The track list was:

1. Hit the lights: massive song for opening the concert! 

2. Master of puppets

3. The shortest straw

4. Seek & destroy

5. Welcome home (Sanitarium)

6. Ride the lightning

7. The memory remains

8. All nightmare long

9. Sad but true

10. The call of Ktulu: the fact that they played an instrumental song was really cool but I would have prefered "Orion" or "To live is to die"

11. One

12. For whom the bell tolls: I went crazy for this one!

13. Blackened

14. Fade to black

15. Enter sandman

16. Am I evil: They brought all the other bands on stage to play this one, yet again Mustain's could not be heard at all and I noticed that no one from Slayer was up there. I read in the paper the day after that Kerry King said they decided not to show up since they changed the song from "So What" to "Am I evil" in the last second which I find was pure BS since they had played this song together with other bands in Big 4 in other places.

17. Damage Inc.

18. Creeping death: a great song for closing

Of course, I would have put up another track list had they left it to me but I was very happy at the end. One cool aspect with them was that they always put some of the not-so-well known tracks in the list and not insist much on the latest material. It was an excellent concert nonetheless.

First day of parental leave

Today, I officially started my first day of 4 month parental leave and it started off not as smooth as I was hoping for: woke up with sore throat and after working for a good 3 hours non-stop trying to get things in order in the house and one hour of unsuccessful bout to put the kid into sleep, I noticed that not only I have to change the diapers but also due to an unfortunate 'leakage', all my white shirt and my brand new pants are stained with stool...one hell of a way to kick things off!

90's Alternative

Playlist X.

1. "Sure Shot" Beastie Boys

2. "Devil's Haircut" Beck

3. "Song II" Blur

4. "Creep" Radiohead

5. "Wonderwall" Oasis

6. "Big Me" Foo Fighters

7. "In Bloom" Nirvana

8. "Down By The Water" PJ Harvey

9. "Only Happy When It Rains" Garbage

10. "Sabotage" Beastie Boys

We who are

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

We who are not as others

Huckleberry

Our coach for this season is a retired sherif from Chicago area called Tom "Huckleberry" Nolan, the author of the book titled "Chasing dreams - I". He is one helluv a character and at times, he does remind me of our dear friend, Chewie. We've had such interesting discussions that I was (and still am!) very much tempted to record our exchanges, sometimes of pure philosophical nature, to get myself good material for this blog for some time to come. We've had a couple of high tempo practices which were exactly of my taste: non-stop hard work and sweat. How much our little team with so limited assets will accomplish under his leadership is yet to be seen since making some soup out of this mix of uneven (read oil and water) chemistry and being short-handed almost at all times is a very tough challenge.

I am reading his book on the way to and from work and I can say that the baseball content of the book is very rich to say the least. Anyhow, I am more than happy to experience a real (probably my first ever) baseball coach and I will try to squeeze as much as I can out of him which given his "Hilly Billy Huckleberry" character is not an easy job. According to his book, "baseball is designed to have fun" and that (among some other minor things) is my main goal for this season.

Waiting for P & S

Place: Geneva airport

In the flesh

Back in the days, Pink Floyd and The Wall were incredibly popular at home, everyone liked them and even those who couldn't spell their name or their tracks were spraying Pink Floyd on the walls. This wide popularity which I regarded to be genuinely shallow led me to dislike or rather hating them without even listening to their music for once. This and the fact that my brother and my musical idol wrote something on my wall but that's a whole another story. Anyhow, in the early days of my university, a good friend of mine aka mzmk_ir, who was much into Pink, gave me a print out of the lyrics of The Wall album and a worn cassette and insisted that I gave it a shot. I was reluctant at first but  finally I gave in and...well, as cheezy as it sounds, the rest is history.

Now many years have passed since I started listening to Pink and many many unforgettable moments have been created throughout the years that are associated one way or another with Pink Floyd. Tonight, I am going to see Roger Waters play The Wall (for a last time?) and I know that when I hear the last solo of "Comfortably Numb", I will be crying out loud with each and every one of these people right beside me:

Xerxes_g

Mazda

Farah

mzmk_ir: Thank you again for showing me the light!

Amin Feiz

babak4

bsrod

sagmehr

lolo

Alim

Chewie

p.kh
aghahe
Soord

dadasha

k-me

Said B

Parsa & Farzad

Peyman & Mazi S

Ishtinbil

Stephon S

Gharach

Shirzadi

FFaili

KAZZ
ARNouri
PTL
The boys of mtl-75

And many more which just don't pop into my mind at the moment, it's gonna be a blast y'all!

My fantasy baseball team

Shagging in the outfield during BP is slow and boring job but at the same time, it gives you some time to contemplate. I normally get drowned in my own thoughts and here's one of them: What if I could replace everyone in this team with 'my guys'? That would have been mainly my friends who were related one way or another to basketball. What if we all played baseball instead and formed a so-called "doostan" baseball team? So without further ado here's the line-up of such fantasy team:

1. Pitcher: AHF: Simply because he is the only one with solid pitching experience. McVich would be the relief pitcher or closer but his arsenal is limited. We need more pitchers and the fact that our pitching staff is not so deep would be an eminent weakness of our team.

2. Catcher: AJK aka Chewbacca: He would be one of the few or the only catcher who throws with left, yet another one of his mysteries! He is capable of stopping the runners on home plate and with a good left arm, he can throw straight to 2nd to burn the stealing runners. His knowledge of the game and being able to call the game correctly is a given and more importantly, he can/does establish a good chemistry with the man on the mound.

3. 1st base: Ghajar: He is also an obvious choice, one of the power sluggers in the team who fits perfectly well for 1st base.

4. 2nd base: Mani: Here I had a hard time to find the right person but I think he will do very well in this roll. He is short and fast and we definitely could use some fast runners on the offensive end. He covers his area well and doesn't need to have a very strong arm as he throws mainly to 1st or 2nd.

5. 3rd base: Myself: I put myself in my favorite position and I have a good on and off the game contact with all the infielders and pitcher and catcher.

6. Short stop: Shirzadi: Again, difficult to find a suitable person here but Shirzadi's agility and many other capabilities as well as his unselfishness and game vision leaves me with no other better choice.

7. Left field: Kamran Nejad: Because he is a lefty and the slowness of outfield activity fits his character.

8. Center field: Farah: Another power hitter in center with good arm to throw to 2, 3 and home.

9. Right field: Mazda: 2nd fast runner in the roster and a righty.

1st base coach: Ffaili: Functions mostly as a moral support and is in synch with 3rd base coach.

3rd base coach/batting coach: Fkhaleghi: He is the perfect person to take advantage of every tiny mistake by the opponents, read their game and give the orders accordingly.

Pitching coach: BTourani: I don't think I need to say anything here.

Manager: Kavoos: Tobacco chewing, short tempered and extremely foul-mouthed manager with little knowledge of the game and is in constant fight with umpires, gets tossed out frequently and kills each and every one of us on practices with conditioning drills and hard labor, he is JUST PERFECT for us.

Batting order:

1. Mani

2. Mazda

3. Ghajar

4. Myself

5. Shirzadi

6. AHF

7. Nejad

8. Farah

9. Chewi

In the dugout:

ATN (OF)

Hesam Z (OF/DH)

Nima (OF)

McVich (P, IN/OF)

Masters of improvisation

Hossein Alizadeh Tar

Kayhan Kalhor Kamanche

Madjid Khaladj Daf/Tonbak

I saw these masters last year and at one point during the concert, I inevitably cried.

It was one fantastic spiritual journey.

I had seen Kalhor once before with Shujaat Husain Khan (sitar) and Swapan Chaudhuri (tabla) which formed Ghazal group and I enjoyed it a lot. Here's the thing: once you have seen Kalhor's playing, you can barely listen to others play kamanche, the bar is set so high that it is impossible to top. That performance had obviously more theme of Indian in it but this one, with the combination of Alizadeh and Khaladj was something else. It not only touched my heart but also made me proud, it seldom happens that you feel this way during a musical performance.

It was indeed something else.

Trademark songs of "You look so precious now..."

Playlist IX.

1. "For Whom The Bell Tolls" Metallica

2. "Paranoid" Black Sabbath

3. "In The End" Linkin Park

4. "The Beautiful People" Marylin Manson

5. "South Of Heaven" Slayer

6. "Breathe" The Prodigy

7. "Aenima" Tool

8. "Dead Skin Mask" Slayer

9. "Dead Horse" Guns N' Roses

10. "No Leaf Clover" Metallica

A little house keeping

Work is being done to find a new and better look for the blog...veuillez patienter!

Courchevel

The love of the mountains and the thirst for feeling the raw and unfiltered speed were sufficiently quenched by one week of staying at propbably the largest ski resort in the world. The picture below does the justice to the beauty and the greatness of the 'matter' at hand more a thousand words.

Photo courtesy of AB.

One of the many subjects that the company of ours touched during this trip was the reason why we are so passionate about mountains. Answer (according to me): Because they remind us how minuscule we are in terms of being a 'being' and that, somehow, not only makes us happy in a strange sort of way but also creates a sense of passion and respect. The same goes with the stars and heavenly bodies or bodies of water in the nature. It's just that different people choose different paths; some choose the mountains, some choose the sky and some choose the sea. This long discussion is better left unfinished here and in conclusion, on a sort of irrelevant note, I wrap up by a quote by non-other than his holiness(?) The North Face which was reminded to us by Mr.P himself:

"Never stop exploring!"

Season started

Yesterday, I kicked off my baseball season with a good practice. 8 months of sloth and gluttony has not done me good: I have got a pleasant pain in various parts of the body today and I hope that I get back into some form of acceptable condition with good consistency...fingers crossed!

The most important thing is however to find the right mindset and goal through the season, a real mental challenge that has to be resolved somehow.

Where have all the cowboys gone?

Letters to Clarice...last updated 1 month ago

banoon.blogspot.com...last updated 1 month ago

Thoughts ++...last updated 1 month ago

Xerxes...last updated 2 month ago

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Where is everyone?

What should I read now?

Well I guess I should just carry the flag meself: 2 weeks of parental leave should give me enough time to make up for the past and the other cowboys, so

Andiamo avanti!

One of my dilemmas solved...once and for all!

I am releived to see that according to Merriam-Webster:

"A preposition is a perfectly approproate kind of word to end a sentence with."

As an objective evidence for truenss of such claim, it may suffice to remind oneself of the response of Sir Winston Churchill to all the people who were against ending a sentnece with preposition:

"This is just the sort of nonsense up with which I will not put!"

From the new machine

This is the first post that I am writing from my new iMac machine. The decision to get one was made about 1.5 years ago but it materialized 2 weeks ago. Like the saying which goes "Once you go Mac, you never go back", I can see myself never ever go back to that Windows crap.

Ce...leb...rate good times, come on!

Uncanny resemblance 5

...or maybe not?!

Leaving Las Vegas

This film is more about loneliness than anything else. How human beings feel, behave and react when they are lonely, and how miserable they become in that state. It is very sad story of loneliness in the shadow of all that extravagant Vegas life; a grave and yet attractive contrast.

Why are we build that way? Why can't we just bear loneliness? Why does it drive us crazy? And above all, why are we all so god damn lonely at the end of the day?

Roy is gone, King is in

After a turbulent and mostly disappointing couple of months, the man I once labeled "the best manager money can buy" left and King Kenny was brought in to induce some adrenaline in our wrecked ship. While he is yet to win a game after 3 matches, I personally believe that we should have stayed with Roy a bit longer and given him some time to make his impact. Kenny, however very popular among hardcore fans, has been away from the scene for too long and doesn't seem to have his mojo these days, unless he performs some magic right off his sleeve.

A good analysis of short reign of Hodgson can be found here at Phil McNulty's blog.

Depressing times nonetheless, we just have to hang in there and not lose our faith; not the easiest job.

It's not you...

Scene from the episode "The Lip Reader" of season 5 of TV series Seinfeld.

[Setting: Monk's coffee shop]

Gwen: I'm sorry George.
George: I don't understand, things were going so great. What happened? Something must have happened.
Gwen: It's not you, it's me.
George: You're giving me the "it's not you, it's me" routine? I invented "it's not you, it's me". Nobody tells me it's them not me, if it's anybody it's me.

Gwen: All right George, it's you.

George: You're DAMN right it's me!

Into thin air

1. Go to control panel, select add or remove programs, a window with a list of programs installed on your computer shows up. When selecting each program, it also states how often that program is used. So is the same with every man's character or soul or whatever. Everyone has many sides, facets, programs into his being, some are used very often and on daily basis, some are used occasionally or rarely. Nevertheless these sides are still there until being uninstalled completely.

2. Mountains and climbing them is one of the sides of me which I seldom use nowadays. Being born and raised at the foot of Alborz range, I have always had a deep passion and a high respect for the mountains. I used to watch the mountains, which laid to the north of the city, and dream of being on top of them. This spiritual experience materialized even more every time I laid eyes on Mount Damavand (5610m) whenever clear air allowed the naked eye to see the ceiling of the world (gonbad-e giti) from a 60 km distance.

3. My late grandparents used to escape the heat of the summer in the city and go to their village which was in the higher altitude (compared to THR) somewhere inside the Alborz range. When I visited them during summer vacations, my grandfather use to take me to the nearby mountains and their peaks which surrounded the village. These hikes, or climbs as I used to call them back then, were at times demanding for me and more importantly, very long. We could have spent a whole day in the mountains just wandering around or chase a mountain deer in vain. When we sat down at our camps or top of the peaks, we started some fire to make the smoked tea and we drank it with grilled local cheese and bread. At the end of the day, I was completely spent (I was visiting them from early age until I was a young teenage or something) and normally passed out after dinner. My grandfather was avid hiker. He always took these long hikes in the mountains, even in the city he walked everywhere. Very seldom did he take bus or cab to get to his destination. He walked. I guess I took his passion for nature and mountains during these hikes. My father also took me for hikes in the nearby mountains almost regularly during weekends. When I grew a bit older (and so did he!), I continued this activity with friends for the fun of it for many years.

4. The pinnacle of my mountaineering was a ascend of Mount Tochal (3964 m) which I did with 2 close friends. We started in the evening from very bottom and slept at 2 story building which served as a sleeping camp for climbers. We attacked the peak at 6am in the morning after and we were on the summit by 9am. It was beginning of the fall and the first snow had landed on the slopes. We left the main route intentionally to save time and climbed a glacier instead. We were poorly equipped for any kind of ice work i.e. no ropes or ice axes or any rescue gear, just the not-so-watertight military boot and crampons and some extra clothes and food in the backpack. It was indeed the most difficult and the most satisfying climb that I have ever done in my life. After spending a half hour or so on the top, we decided to descend to another side, and not having a compass or map, we got lost several times and we ended up hiking for 6 hours or so until we reached our destination. Stepping through a knee deep snow with nobody around, we slowly sank into a state of mental trance; we stopped complaining to one another and we moved on silently for hours. It was an unforgettable and sacred experience.

5. In 1996, Jon Krakauer was sent by Outside magazine along a commercial expedition to climb Mount Everest and write about it. A series of unpredicted events led to the fact that the worse tragedy in the history of climbing this mountains unfolds and Krakauer tells his take on that in this book. In the beginning, he tells a little bit of the history of climbing Everest which at first sight, seems kind of boring but it is very interesting and worth reading at the end. The book is filled with a number of interesting parallel stories as well as thoughtful quotes at the start of each chapter in the same manner as Into The Wild. It is obvious that he has done a good job in conducting a systematic research on the subject especially when some of his errors came to light after his piece was sent to press in Outside (he wrote an article for outside first right after coming back from Nepal but then he realized that he has failed to pay his dues to the tragedy so he wrote a book with more details and concrete research).

6. I have very seldom encountered any book like Into Thin Air. I can only think of Papillon by Henry Charrièr in this category for the time being. However, I must emphasize that my fascination to this book is in a whole new level. I was staying with a friend for a couple of days and he had a very bad cold. He could barely do anything, lying in bed all day with doors and windows shut tight at the end of the summer making his small studio flat a sauna. All he did during that time was to read this book. This rose my curiosity so I started reading that book a while after and I finished it in 2 weeks. I don't remember that I have read any book so fast. By now, I have read this book 3 times, each time I got it more than the previous one. I suppose not only I am attracted to the style of writing and the way the story is being told but it somehow touches some sides (read programs) of me that I rarely use these days and brings that old but not-died-out passion to the surface.

7. I know I can go on and on and write about this book and my fascination with the subject matter and yet feel that I haven't done justice to it. Hence, I decide to leave it as it is - unfinished - and just wrap this up with an extract from the book:

"...Mountaineering tends to draw men and women not easily deflected from their goals. By this late stage in the expedition we had all been subjected to levels of misery and peril that would have sent more balanced individuals packing for home long ago. To get this far one had to have uncommonly obdurate personality.

Unfortunately, the sort of individual who is programmed to ignore personal distress and keep pushing for the top is frequently programmed to disregard signs of grave and imminent danger as well. This forms the nub of a dilemma that every Everest climber eventually comes up against: in order to succeed you must be exceedingly driven, but if you are too driven you're likely to die. Above 26,000 feet, moreover, the line between appropriate zeal and reckless summit fever becomes grievously thin. Thus the slopes of Everest are littered with corpses..."

Laugh, clown!

"Ridi, Pagliaccio,

sul tuo amore infranto!

Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!"

Words by Ruggero Leoncavallo.

At the bottom of the hole

Source: swipelife.com: Inappropriate Golden Books: Movies R, Fun by Josh Cooley