2 more practices and the season is over

Another season is about to end and I am yet to play a full game. This year I was ready to have a push for my summit and to some sense, I was feeling that I was in mental and physical shape to do so and I thought with the help of the new coach would was not to play this year and me not going to work due to parental leave, I would be able to fix 'the issues' but I ended up playing the least ever due to the fact that the idiot that is running our team (who is actually a guy that I like in certain aspects) and one important individual in the back office had little faith in me. The real reason behind this is unclear for me as I busted my ass off at practice sessions but I suppose my biggest shortcomig was just when it was the right time to convince them otherwise, I lacked consistency and I failed. I got very pissed when I was denied a shot at the game and I tried to talk things over at an early stage to avoid a disaster from unfolding but at the end, that totally backfired. Like I said, despite feeling that my throwing and my fielding had improved, at least compared to last year, the mental burden and frustration went beyond my capacity and obviously, it had an adverse effect on my game and what not. It was a tough season for me personally and I was driven to quiting the whole damn thing on several points (and a number of my apparel failed or started to fail as well!) and the ironic thing is that I did enjoyed several productive and tiring practice sessions and I literally played nothing this year. I have never missed 'my very own fantasy baseball team' so bad that I did this year...or at least my closest buddies who I could have a word or two over a drink or something, man I am so far and I miss my people!

On a seperate and sort of relevant note, I had the chance of playing at the national arena tomorrow in a stress-free and the-result-doesn't-matter game since our home game was cancelled last Saturday due to rain. I think I would have enjoyed taking on that field but unfortunately I can not since I have to stay home with the kid...deepest sigh! And then I will miss a doubleheader some 600 Km away since I will be away to on a reunion, not that it matters.

New 2

Resolution 12. Readings and learning of Hagakure should be carried out on daily basis.

Resolution 13. Learn the thing that you have always wanted to learn, and don't be lazy about it!

A decade!

Today marks the tenth year of me leaving "home" for a new home, not that there's anything significant about it. Man, what a ride has it been even though the pace has been remarkably lower in the past couple of years. I suppose it is fair to say that the highlight of the last 'decade' (I like use this word to make it look more grand) top 5 noteworthy happenings, without particular order, can be defined as:

1. First child

2. Marriage

3. Graduation

4. Travels

5. Aging or rather noticing the aging!

Better not to get entangled with nostalgic feelings and in the past, andiamo avanti all the way.

Closing:

"To be yourself is all that you can be..."

- Chris Cornell 

Happy 1st birthday!

Cet indéfinissable charme

Cette petite flamme...

Metallica in Ullevi on May 30, 2004

Playlist XI.

1. "The Ecstasy of Gold" by Ennio Morricone

2. "Blackened" 

3. "Fuel"

4. "Harvester of Sorrow" 

5. "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)" 

6. "Frantic"

7. "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

8. "I Disappear" 

9. "St. Anger" 

10. "Sad But True" 

11. "Creeping Death"

12. "Battery"

13. "Wherever I May Roam" 

14. "Nothing Else Matters" 

15. "Master of Puppets" 

16. "One" 

17. "Enter Sandman" 

18. "Leper Messiah" 

19. "Seek & Destroy"

Forty six and two

My shadow's

Shedding skin and

I've been picking scabs again

I'm down

Digging through 

My old muscles

Looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly

Clearing out what could've been

I've been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions

For a piece to cross me over

Or a word to guide me in

I wanna feel the changes coming down

I wanna know what I've been hiding in

My shadow

My shadow

Change is coming through my shadow

My shadow's 

Shedding skin

I've been picking scabs again

I've been crawling on my belly 

Clearing out what could've been

I've wallowing in my own chaotic and insecure delusions

I wanna feel the change consume me

Feel the outside turning in

I wanna feel the metamorphosis and 

Cleansing I've endured within

My shadow

My shadow

Change is coming

Now it's my time

Listen to my muscle memory

Contemplate what I've been clinging to

Forty-six and two ahead of me

I choose to live and to

Grow, take and give and to

Move, learn and love and to

Cry, kill and die and to

Be paranoid and to

Lie, hate and fear and to

Do what it takes to move through

I choose to live and to

Lie, kill and give and to

Die, learn and love and to

Do what it takes to step through

See my shadow changing

Stretching up and over me

Soften this old armor

Hoping it can clear the way by

Stepping through my shadow

Coming out the other side

Step into the shadow

Forty-six and two are just ahead of me

A Serbian Film

This is by far the sickest and most disturbing movie that I have even seen, "Irréversible" is absolutely nothing compared to this. Tim Anderson says, and I can not agree more, "If what I have written here is enough to turn your feelings of wonder into a burning desire to watch this monstrosity, then perhaps I haven't been clear enough. You don't want to see Serbian Film. You just think you do."

I am just wondering what purpose does it serve to make such a twisted and disgusting movie, I guess human being never stop amazing one other. 

My god....so sick!