An open letter to a former GAMTIK

I knew you were going to do that, I f---ing knew that!

I was just hoping, in vain, that maybe this time you wouldn’t be yourself and act differently. Well, you didn’t!

I don’t know much details about how the whole thing went, not that I didn’t or don’t want to know. On the contrary, I still do...very much...but you gave me nothing...and I asked for nothing neither!

I just wished you had relied on me more...like I did on you...through all those hard times, all those strange troubles, all those struggles...everything. I came to you and I let you in during several difficult situations...telling you of my utmost moments of weakness, putting the guard down completely and shared with you...and you never let me down nor did much to relieve me...you just listened and understood what I was going through...no judgment, no disagreement no advice no nothing...just understanding! Would that be asking too much if I asked you to do the same?

That meant a whole lot to me...that strengthened our bond beyond imagination, at least that’s what I think. But when it came to you, you simply shut the door and never let me, or probably no one else, in.

We talked afterward, long before this happened...I told you that it feels really bad for me when you do this, you said this was a habit of yours and I said well this sucks and you agreed! We never talked about that later.

Well, like I said in the beginning, you did that...and that changes my perspective. As a natural reaction, I will treat you the same way that you treated me. Am I having too much expectation? You’re damn right about that...why? Because I “thought” we had a something strong between us, we had something in common, we were brothers, we shared our secrets, and we relied on each other, we had each other back...not doing much but just being there cuz I know that just knowing that someone would be out there should things go wrong, is a invaluable feeling. Obviously, we don’t have that now. That’s how I feel about it!

The whole thing must have been really hard for you, I am fully aware but I wished you could put yourself in my position once, seeing such thing happening in front of you to someone you care and you’re left out. Trust me, it doesn’t feel good...Good? What am I saying? It feels awful to say the least...but most probably you’re too occupied with the main thing and wouldn’t care about this side-effect now...je ne sais plus...

I thanked you once for being yourself all the times, I just wished you weren't this time.

I am not saying maybe I could be able to stop this or maybe I could have helped you to go smoother through this...All I am saying is that if you had not acted according to “your habit”, you would have ended up with one broken bond and one much stronger bond...now you have almost two broken bonds.

I wonder if it matters at all now...